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Hi, I'm Shelby.
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On any given day, I can have up to 20 tabs open on my computer. Excessive? Yes. Necessary? Depeennndsss on the day. The times where I have too many open, my computer eventually forces me to evaluate- Are all of these tabs vital to what my computer needs to work right now?

I believe our brains and bodies are the same way.

Brain tabs are different though. They aren’t just abandoned shopping carts and emails. The tabs we keep open in our mind hold more weight and emotions. They’re connected to memories, fears, concerns, dreams, hopes for the future collected from different situations in our lives (past and present). Like computers, our body is processing all of these tabs 24-7 throughout every waking hour of the day.

Eventually, it starts to taking a toll on all aspects of our wellbeing. Brain fog slowly starts to cloud our thoughts. Energy starts to deflate from our presence. Our thoughts drift away during conversations. Perpetuating a constant unsettled feeling in our gut. It starts to slow us down and create exhaustion. We stop operating as our normal selves, which also impacts the people around us. And if we’re not careful, we will reach a point where our system crashes.

My gut finally prompted me to ask the questions I’ve been avoiding.
I received the answers to know it was time to close some tabs.

When I finally took a moment to sit with these questions, I realized closing these mental tabs was not about forgetting or ignoring reality. Instead, it was about prioritizing and being present in the moment. Simply accepting that no matter how much I reflect on situations, I’ll never change what has happened up to now. So, I started closing tabs, one by one. I let go of the guilt of unfinished tasks and the anxiety of future uncertainties. It hasn’t been an overnight transformation, but with each tab I closed, I felt lighter and more in tune with myself.

I can never change my past choices. I can never rewrite my journey. Nor do I want to anymore. I can say in every job, role, friendship, relationship and experience throughout my life, I’ve loved so deeply with my heart. I didn’t always do it flawlessly or right. I can take accountability for that, but a root of my heart I carry is always coming from such a real place. The act of closing these tabs isn’t just about mental clarity; it’s an act of self-love. It’s acknowledging that I deserve to be present in my own life, to experience moments fully without the constant buzz of unchecked thoughts. In doing so, I’m not only kinder to myself but also more present and available for the life surrounding me.

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